Last week we touched on words of affirmation as a Love Language and how knowing that about your child can help on those moments of anxiety. Today we are going to talk about Quality Time – how to recognize it and how to use it to manage anxious moments.
A child with quality time as their Love Language (Gary Chapman) will want to spend time with you as their parent. They will see, and take mental note of the time you spend with their siblings and make sure it’s fair and equal. They will want to be everywhere you are and fight for your attention when you are on the phone or otherwise occupied.
Just like the previous two Love Languages, a child that has anxious tendencies will look for quality time more often and more intensely when they are feeling anxious. They may ask you to play games with them, or go somewhere with them or help them with their homework. These are all ways of getting more time with you to feel more loved and more at ease.
When you know your child is getting anxious feelings make sure to schedule some time in with them every day – even if it’s 10 minutes at a time in between other tasks or activities. Take a few extra minutes at bedtime to just be with them if they are reading or listening to music. Just being there, without distraction (leave your phone in another room and the other siblings) will ease their mind and help to fill their love tank leading to increased resiliency.